Thank god I made Friday's movie news day! Seriously Pixar making a bad movie is the biggest news to hit the world since V-day back in 1945. If you've been living under a rock or just haven't been paying attention to the lack of critics compliments in the cars 2 trailer, Cars 2 is bad (35% on rotten tomatoes). Now I personally haven't seen it yet and as faithful readers of this blog you all should know I don't always agree with critics (see Super 8 review). But then again I predicted this one would be bad way back at the beginning of this year and I'm honestly not surprised by this. Maybe I'll see this weekend just to judge or just pop in a good DVD and review a good movie...
I did read an interesting article about what Pixar can do to move on from this bomb. If you want to read just follow the link below
http://www.cinemablend.com/new/5-Ways-Pixar-Can-Move-On-From-The-Critical-Failure-Of-Cars-2-25386.html
Friday, June 24, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
DVD Review-Week of 6/21/11
This week on DVD review I'll take a look at Adjustment Bureau and The Eagle!
Adjustment Bureau stars the sexy and beautiful Matt Damon as a hopeful state senator and Emily Blunt as his potential love interest. But wait John Slattery (Flags of our Fathers) tells Matt Damon he can't fall in love with Emily! It's not his destiny (yea because his destiny is to hook up with me!) Now I know this sounds kind of cliché and sappy but Matt Damon and Emily Blunt give great performances...especially Matt Damon...but more about him later
Grade-B
The Eagle is a movie I luckily did not have to see. I was going to be dragged to this by my lady at the time (we split a week before this came out...thank god). The whole reason she wanted to see this movie was because of who was in, Channing Tatum. He's grown a lot of vagina cred among the women after staring in Dear John. Dear John, as with The Eagle, was a horrible movie! And I'm not alone in thinking this! The movies were destroyed by critics and Channing Tatum was not treated kindly.
But it doesn't matter; women will still see his shitty movies because Channing Tatum is "hot". You know who else is hot? Matt Damon! And I'm glad you ladies don't care for him, less competition for me! In face I think I'm going to go fix my Matt Damon shrine right now
Grade for The Eagle-SKIP IT
Grade for Matt Damon's face- Back off bitch it's mine
Next Week on DVD review I'll review- Drive Angry, Justin Beiber Never Say Never, and The Roommate/The Rite
Adjustment Bureau stars the sexy and beautiful Matt Damon as a hopeful state senator and Emily Blunt as his potential love interest. But wait John Slattery (Flags of our Fathers) tells Matt Damon he can't fall in love with Emily! It's not his destiny (yea because his destiny is to hook up with me!) Now I know this sounds kind of cliché and sappy but Matt Damon and Emily Blunt give great performances...especially Matt Damon...but more about him later
Grade-B
The Eagle is a movie I luckily did not have to see. I was going to be dragged to this by my lady at the time (we split a week before this came out...thank god). The whole reason she wanted to see this movie was because of who was in, Channing Tatum. He's grown a lot of vagina cred among the women after staring in Dear John. Dear John, as with The Eagle, was a horrible movie! And I'm not alone in thinking this! The movies were destroyed by critics and Channing Tatum was not treated kindly.
But it doesn't matter; women will still see his shitty movies because Channing Tatum is "hot". You know who else is hot? Matt Damon! And I'm glad you ladies don't care for him, less competition for me! In face I think I'm going to go fix my Matt Damon shrine right now
Grade for The Eagle-SKIP IT
Grade for Matt Damon's face- Back off bitch it's mine
Next Week on DVD review I'll review- Drive Angry, Justin Beiber Never Say Never, and The Roommate/The Rite
Sunday, June 19, 2011
X Men First Class
Ever since Iron Man 2 I've been a bit more skeptical of Marvel movies mostly due to the fact that many of them are trying to shove the cock of The Avengers movie down my sultry sweet throat while I have laryngitis and can't say no. But X-Men First Class broke away from that cock and balls and instead focused on us just placing bets on how/when Magneto is going to fuck over Charles Xavier.
What I enjoyed about this movie was how it tried to give a backstory story on why Magneto was so evil and Charles being such a goodie two shoes. Ironically, it's also what I hated. They paint Magneto as a man who struggled through life haunted by revenge due to him being a Holocaust victim. You feel empathy towards him, and I enjoyed that because it made sense on why he acted the way throughout the movies. Same with Charles, he acts like a goody two shoes because he was raised in such wealth that it's so fucking amazing that he doesn't drive a gold plated wheelchair and therefore was never exposed properly to the world. Explains it perfectly, but now I think that Charles can suck a fat cock for trying to tell people what to do when he hasn't been exposed to the slightest shit. (See this movie and you won't think I'm being a cock to him either)
One thing that bugged me was how they tried to wrap everything up in a neat little bow. Like how Beast looks the way he is, why Mystique went to Magneto instead of Xavier (DESPITE GROWING UP WITH XAVIER WHICH MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE) and ect ect. It added to the movie I admit, but hearing the audience have an insightful "Ahhh" every bloody time something was explained really wore on my nerves.
Last thing Marvel does that bugs me is to tie in a classic character. In this one it is Wolverine. Charles and Magneto walk into a bar (this has the start of a great joke) and in is Wolverine having whisky or whatnot. They walk up to him and introduce themselves to which Wolverine replies 'Fuck off'. They walk out. I know why they put that in, to have the audience cream themselves by seeing HUGH FUCKING JACKMAN but honestly Marvel, it hurts when you put someone in for a split second then pull out like a teenager's first time. You did it in Thor (Movie sucked) with saying 'I hope its not Stark's robots' and it's the same annoyance.
Overall, I liked it. Nothing so bad I would tell you to not see it but nothing so good I mentioned it.
Super 8: Classic Spielberg? I don't think so!
Super 8, pardon the puns; is a train wreck, Super Bad, and should get an 8/100 (ok not really but I needed to make a number pun). Super 8 "may evoke memories of classic summer blockbusters" (Rotten Tomatoes), in simple English that means it's a story you've seen hundreds of times before but with pretty CGI. Sadly unlike other movies that fall into this category, Super 8 fails at almost everything it attempts to pull off.
Super 8 stars Joel Courtney (rookie), Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights), and Elle Fanning (Somewhere and related to the talented Dakota Fanning). These 3 stars all share one main thing in common throughout the movie that unites there characters together in a holy trinity of crap: They can't act for shit. Chandler and Fanning especially who give Sci-Fi original movie performances. Then again to single out these actors is unfair! The entire cast gave shit performances, and should be put to death (it's the only logical way). The only actor who can rise above the shit is Ryan Lee and that's only because his character was over the top!
Super 8 is also a very boring movie. It seems to spend too much time telling rather then showing. Except of course when the Alien is around, then the film likes to keep quiet and play camera tricks so we're never exactly sure what the Alien looks like (SPOILER ALERT- It looks like a smaller version of the Cloverfeild monster, nothing special at all). The actors do a horrible job at making me care about their characters, so we're left wondering why we shouldn't be falling asleep when little Timmy says he likes the same girl as Bobby (not the names of the characters but sadly an actual conflict in the movie that goes fucking nowhere)
While I'm at it the plot includes very little logic in it. Abrams focuses to much on the kids and tries to make all the chaos around them a vehicle for the plot to move, but because he does that general logic is thrown out the window. Remember that train crash in the trailer? Well the driver of the truck fucking survives the crash. Somehow his ONE truck created a huge fireball and derailed a THIRTY PLUS car train but he luckily manages to stay alive. Closer to the end of the movie the army shoots various missiles in the air even though the monster isn't in sight AND there weapons are misfiring (we learn that last part from a quote FROM A FUCKING ARMY OFFICER).
Abrams tries the paranormal activity approach of having scary, bad things happen at night. Sadly Abrams doesn't know how scary he wants his movie to be so the various nights having varying levels of scariness. There are some huge scares in the movie and some wasted opportunities. Abrams should have committed to either being scary or appealing to families—not both.
Super 8 is a very boring movie and should be avoided at all cost. I understand my opinion goes against the norm you see on Rotten Tomatoes but trust me you'll be doing yourself a favor if you skip this craptastic.
GRADE- F+
Super 8 stars Joel Courtney (rookie), Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights), and Elle Fanning (Somewhere and related to the talented Dakota Fanning). These 3 stars all share one main thing in common throughout the movie that unites there characters together in a holy trinity of crap: They can't act for shit. Chandler and Fanning especially who give Sci-Fi original movie performances. Then again to single out these actors is unfair! The entire cast gave shit performances, and should be put to death (it's the only logical way). The only actor who can rise above the shit is Ryan Lee and that's only because his character was over the top!
Super 8 is also a very boring movie. It seems to spend too much time telling rather then showing. Except of course when the Alien is around, then the film likes to keep quiet and play camera tricks so we're never exactly sure what the Alien looks like (SPOILER ALERT- It looks like a smaller version of the Cloverfeild monster, nothing special at all). The actors do a horrible job at making me care about their characters, so we're left wondering why we shouldn't be falling asleep when little Timmy says he likes the same girl as Bobby (not the names of the characters but sadly an actual conflict in the movie that goes fucking nowhere)
While I'm at it the plot includes very little logic in it. Abrams focuses to much on the kids and tries to make all the chaos around them a vehicle for the plot to move, but because he does that general logic is thrown out the window. Remember that train crash in the trailer? Well the driver of the truck fucking survives the crash. Somehow his ONE truck created a huge fireball and derailed a THIRTY PLUS car train but he luckily manages to stay alive. Closer to the end of the movie the army shoots various missiles in the air even though the monster isn't in sight AND there weapons are misfiring (we learn that last part from a quote FROM A FUCKING ARMY OFFICER).
Abrams tries the paranormal activity approach of having scary, bad things happen at night. Sadly Abrams doesn't know how scary he wants his movie to be so the various nights having varying levels of scariness. There are some huge scares in the movie and some wasted opportunities. Abrams should have committed to either being scary or appealing to families—not both.
Super 8 is a very boring movie and should be avoided at all cost. I understand my opinion goes against the norm you see on Rotten Tomatoes but trust me you'll be doing yourself a favor if you skip this craptastic.
GRADE- F+
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
DVD Review- Week of 6/14/11
3 new dvds come out this week, I would feel sad to say I haven't seen any of these films but I have taste in movies and these movies looked like shit (and got shit reviews). So this week, I will recommend movies that would be better to watch then this crap.
Up first-Battle LA, An alien movie where the alien wins, oh fuck they probably get strep throat or some shit and lose in some quick Hollywood write off. This one is pretty easy, you should all watch District 9 at least 9 times before you even consider Battle: LA. District 9 is a beautiful movie that got over shadowed by Avatar. It was easily the best movie of 2009 and should be watched by everyone, even if you're not that into Sci-fi.
Next-Hall Pass: Owen Wilson (not counting the new Woody Allen movie) has been in shit ever since he tried to kill himself. I could make a joke here but I like Owen Wilson and he doesn't deserve that kind of crap (and anyway I only like making dead celebrity jokes with Heath Ledger but that's because most of his movies were sleep inducing) So what film should you see instead of Hall Pass? How about the Farley brothers (directors of this film) other movie "There's something about Mary"? or fuck it just watch District 9 again
Finally-Red Riding Hill: This movie should have been a homerun (for me at least). A twilight rip-off from the director of Twilight 1 (one of the funniest movies ever if you don't take it seriously) that features hot werewolves (go Jacob). Sadly this film was considered a boring mess. It's sad but at least we can all watch Twilight 1 and 3 (new moon was shit don't watch it) over and over again to make up for it....OR we could watch Twilight 1, District 9, and Twilight 3 and make it a movie marathon! Aww fuck that sounds great!
Next Week on Dvd review I'll review-The Eagle and The Adjustment Bureau...fuck I didn't see those either well I guess I'll watch Adjustment Bureau. But next week I'll probably focus on why Matt Damon is hot and that women should stop fucking loving Channing Tatum. He's a shit actor anyway.
Up first-Battle LA, An alien movie where the alien wins, oh fuck they probably get strep throat or some shit and lose in some quick Hollywood write off. This one is pretty easy, you should all watch District 9 at least 9 times before you even consider Battle: LA. District 9 is a beautiful movie that got over shadowed by Avatar. It was easily the best movie of 2009 and should be watched by everyone, even if you're not that into Sci-fi.
Next-Hall Pass: Owen Wilson (not counting the new Woody Allen movie) has been in shit ever since he tried to kill himself. I could make a joke here but I like Owen Wilson and he doesn't deserve that kind of crap (and anyway I only like making dead celebrity jokes with Heath Ledger but that's because most of his movies were sleep inducing) So what film should you see instead of Hall Pass? How about the Farley brothers (directors of this film) other movie "There's something about Mary"? or fuck it just watch District 9 again
Finally-Red Riding Hill: This movie should have been a homerun (for me at least). A twilight rip-off from the director of Twilight 1 (one of the funniest movies ever if you don't take it seriously) that features hot werewolves (go Jacob). Sadly this film was considered a boring mess. It's sad but at least we can all watch Twilight 1 and 3 (new moon was shit don't watch it) over and over again to make up for it....OR we could watch Twilight 1, District 9, and Twilight 3 and make it a movie marathon! Aww fuck that sounds great!
Next Week on Dvd review I'll review-The Eagle and The Adjustment Bureau...fuck I didn't see those either well I guess I'll watch Adjustment Bureau. But next week I'll probably focus on why Matt Damon is hot and that women should stop fucking loving Channing Tatum. He's a shit actor anyway.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Super 8 Trailer Review
Bloody hell what's with all the Alien movies nowadays. Especially involving Area 51, I mean come the fuck on, could we get an Alien movie that doesn't involve DC, Roswell or Area 51 from this decade?
Getting back to the trailer, ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCRQQCKS7go ) this reminds me a shitload of Cloverfield and ET mushed together. Cloverfield because of the camera work (the movie is named after the type of camera, subtle?) and ET because the kids want to find out what's going on.
As we all know, Cloverfield sucked more dick than a prison bitch yet E.T... I can't think of a sensual comparison between the two. E.T. was amazing. But I think it's gonna do good because we can tell the Alien will be a good guy, just from the trailer. And nothing appeals to the public more than a friendly Alien. I was pumped up to see it until I saw this particular trailer, I was hoping for a 'The Crazies' type movie. But I might just see it, I dunno.
-Fogarty
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo Trailer Review
The "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" trailer debuted on the internet very recently. This movie is a remake of the highly successful and critically acclaimed European movie of the same name. Oh yea it's also based off some book series but come on! who reads books now a days?
This trailer seems to be hoping you've heard of the movie, the books, or know that David Fincher (Fight Club, The Social Network) is the director. IF you know that coming into the trailer, well the trailer works to an extent....It did get me pumped up (probably the techno music they played) and did let me know the movie is still going to be released (random clips means the movie must be done shooting) but did it tell me anything about the movie? NO! All I know about this movie is that a girl has a dragon tattoo and for a movie about a girl with a dragon tattoo James Bond (Daniel Craig) sure is in it a fuck load. I don't really know much else about it...I mean I could easily Google it, but shouldn't a movie trailer at least tell me why I should give a flying fuck about the movie? Although the red band trailer (attached to the Hangover 2) did tell me some bonus things: side boobs and bloody headshots will play a big part in the story
I KNOW!! I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED NOW!!!*
*Although I actually am excited mostly because David Flincher is directing it and he hasn't made a bad movie ever**
** Alien 3 doesn't count that was a long time ago.
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