Saw 3D: My apology to everyone part 2

Dear Everyone,

      I'm sorry for Saw 3D. I'll admit the series still has so many unanswered questions, but if I have to go through another Eye popping 3D shit stain to find out what the after credits scene in Saw 6 with Corbett meant....I'll just imagine an ending instead.

   This movie is easy to imagine for anyone who hasn't seen any Saw movie. Imagine every stereotype about the series you have: Needless violence, no story, made for crazed teens so they can see boobs and gore. That's what Saw 3D was. A pitiful "final chapter".





Although this movie sucked...
This picture is pretty funny

  The traps- The opening trap has NOTHING to do with the story. It's not referenced anywhere else in the movie, and it does not have any explanation why it is needed. The Car trap, which has some importance, is presented sloppily with some of the worse dialogue known to man. Bobby's traps are good, although story wise they had to have been built in a about a day which is pretty fucking crazy for a former cop to do.



  The acting- Chad Donella...I want to ask you something. I know I'm only a lonely blogger, but can you please never act again. EVER. You are one of the worst actors I have ever seen. You couldn't even be a good porn actor! But there is a positive note! Remember Tanedra Howard from Saw 6? Well she must have taken some acting less cause she's one of the strongest actors in this movie. I have to congratulate her!



   The writing- I HATE YOU Patrick Melton AND Marcus Dunstan. Your dialouge was just the worst. "Crazier than a sack of cats." You do know this is a horror movie not a children's movie right?

 The ending- They promised they would close the series but leave a little room for a sequel...they decided to blow up that fucking room. I won't be surprised if they make a Saw 8, that ending was just begging for a sequel. Which is depressing for a "Final Chapter"

So overall I'm going to pretend the series ended with Saw 6, as there is very little at all to redeem from this movie.

My Grade- F+
Rotten Tomatoes: Crtics- 9% RT users- 60%

IDMB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1477076/ 

Saw 3D

Saw 'You fucking killed the series' 3D

Ok, let's pretend for a minute that I had not seen the previous Saw movies. To me, this looks like glorified torture porn with terrible acting.

Good: You know what, there was barely anything good about this. I'm not gonna mention anything good. Instead, just look at wikipedia's plot overview.

Bad: Ending: Wow, just fucking wow. The ending was so predictable, people were calling it out a full fucking year ago. Don't believe me? Check it for yourself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42-fM2ZloPg

Traps: I loved the symbolism behind the previous traps, but there was absolutely none in this movie. Why would a skinhead rip his flesh out of his seat? And when there were failed attempts at it, it was obviously just for gore purposes.

Dialogue: Just lol able. "Why wouldn't you fucking shut up!!!" Just lol.

Unanswered questions: None of my questions were answered in this movie. And new ones popped up as well, fucking it over.

Unrealistic: WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET A TURRET GUN! WAS IT JUST LAYING AROUND IN HIS GARAGE???

Overall: This was almost as bad as George Lucas fucking over Star wars with the prequels. I honestly can't express my anger at their failed attempts of a final movie.

My Grade is: F (for FUCK YOU LIONSGATE!)

-Fogarty

Saw 6: The Last Hurrah

A turn around for the series, Kevin Greutert directed a near-perfect Saw that delivers on everything....but it's promise.
The Story behind John's last game had the promise that "the game would come full circle"...well the Shotgun Carousel is a circle...I guess that counts? Hoffman and Jill work together to carry out this game and along the way we learn to hate Health care workers.
Traps- Much better....although the reasons people are put in these traps are worse then Saw 4....much much much worse. Now you can be put in a Jigsaw trap for smoking or being alone (MY FAVORITE REASON EVER).
Acting- Pretty decent....which by Saw standards means some of the best acting since 1 or 3. Although Tanedra Howard should have stayed in porn because she is awful in this movie (I don't know if she was ever in porn, but don't worry she's also in Saw 3D.)
How about the all important ending...well one twist seems pretty easy to figure out..I mean I had to check HouseofJigsaw.com to find out it was actually a twist! The other one is...creepy if you think about it...I can't say too much without giving it away. But if you get this one your a sick bastard.
So I may have given it away from the title but this is the last good Saw. Maybe they should have stopped here...
My Grade- B
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics- 41% RT Users- 67%
IDMB- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1233227/

Saw 6

Saw 6 Review:

Saw 6 in my opinion was one of the better 'later' Saws. It's reasons for putting people in traps varied from HE DESERVED IT to Wait, he was in it for smoking? And the traps had fair symbolism though.

Good: Traps + Reasoning: I noticed a trend here. The people who deserved to be in the traps had the best traps happen. Carousel Trap, Steam Trap, The Hydrochloric Acid Trap. Reasons being: Starved people out of insurance, cheated people out of coverage, and managed both these things.

Bad: Traps + Reasoning: I also noticed the stupid traps had stupid reasoning to put them in them. You Smoke? Oh, well you get your lungs and body crushed. Commit Fraud (I know it's bad, but to DIE FOR IT??? No sir!)? You chop off your arm or all your fat. Have no family or have a family? Yeah, you're gonna hang.

The Ending: Now I know Jigsaw was a master of prediction but there is no bloody way he could have figured this out. The chances of the guy making it to the door were minimal and if he didn't then he would die and the people kidnapped would have no reason to be there. And was the trap Hoffman was put in supposed to kill him or force him to survive. I don't know.

Overall: I loved seeing those Healthcare Insurance Workers suffer. Which is why I liked this movie.

My Grade is: B-

-Yep. No quotes-

-Fogarty

Saw 5: My apology to everyone...part 1

So strangely enough this movie suffers from many of the same flaws as Saw 3D, and since that one is fresh in my mind I would like to direct you to that review which will be up shortly.
To sum up Saw 5 quickly
Traps- Mehhh no real standouts in the Fatal Five group, and 2 cool traps for Straham
Plot- JUMPY AS HELL (we'll discuss this in Saw 3D review)
Acting- Shitty as usual
My Grade- C
Rotten Tomatoes- Critics-13% RT users-63%

Saw 5

Saw 5 Review:

Despite the pretty cool traps, the plot fell through. But the traps were pretty cool, just sayin'.

Good: Traps: Giving yourself a tracheotomy with a pen as the box around your head begins to fill with water? Awesome. Sawing your arm off to give blood? Cool. BOMBS? Yeah. That just happened.

Bad: Plot: Jumping around way too much, dividing the movie up into four to five different stories, and no real conclusion to what happened to the two people in the last trap. Yeah. (Edit fun fact, one of them is in saw 3d. Yaaaaay).

Wait, why?: I'm hoping Saw 3D will clarify some shit like: Why did Jigsaw want Strahm to go into the glass coffin? What would have happened if he did? Why did Hoffman try to kill Strahm? It goes against the Jigsaw mantra and despised what Amanda did! Stuff like this.

Overall: Cool traps. Bad story, bad reasoning.

My Grade: C+

-Fogarty

Saw 4: The Beginning part 2!

    Saw 4 is the start of a brand new trilogy. Still directed by Darren Lynn Bousman and now written by Darren, Patrick Melton, and Marcus Dunstan (the last two guys are responsible for Saw 4-7). This movie follows Detectie Rigg (played by Lyriq Bent) going through a series of traps testing his....obsession? Ok so I guess this new trilogy is the start of the long sad fall of the series, SPOILERS-until Saw 6 that is!!
    I guess I'll start with the common problem, the Acting. Strangely enough it doesn't suck in this movie. Now I'm not going to say this movie should have been nominated for any Oscars, but compared to the others, this movie has the best acting in the entire series! This series also has a really cool twist (even though the hardcore fans predicted this one). It left my Jaw dropped which is what these twist are suppose to do.
   The Traps aren't as good as Saw 3, but still aren't the worst in the series. They each have a unique value to them. Although the camera work killed Ivan's trap for me and made the results confusing and hard to watch (and not in the good gory way).
  The main problem with this movie is the story. The movie puts some of the people in the traps for stupid reasons (A woman is beaten by her husband! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT BITCH!!). It seriously ruined a good deal of this movie. Also because of this Detective Rigg character feels hollow and underdeveloped.
  Overall this movie is Underrated in the Saw legacy. But at this point the series starts to show signs that it should have taken a 2 year hiatus. Maybe then they could have though of new, interesting ideas.
My Grade- B-
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics-17% RT users-70%
IDMB- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0890870/

Saw 4

Saw 4 Review:

This movie did not live quite up to my expectations. The acting was only fair, the reasons people were put in traps were flimsy at best and the twist kind of felt like a kick in the nuts.

Good: Acting: Meh. Seen better seen worse.

Bad: Reasoning: Wow... Just wow. I've always imagined Jigsaw like Lady Liberty. Just, forgiving and always wanting to help. In this case, he fucks it all up. Why would you put a man who was been living through hell and imprisonment for six months in a trap? He already failed (I'd say he passed it, he nearly died trying to find his goddamn son). Why put him through more? Also, a man who cares very deeply for his dead comrades and wants to find their killers? Wow, that's just human nature.

Twist: Sure it came as a 'Whoa' moment, but after the initial reaction, it doesn't fill you with a sense of wonder, or looking for other things he might have done in previous movies.

Overall: See it, but it starts going downhill from here.

My Grade is: B-

-Fogarty

Saw 3

Saw 3 Review:

I leave the story for Wilson to explain because frankly, I don't like summaries.

But the story was well thought out, the acting was believable and the traps were delicious.

Good: Plot: Personally, I liked who was in the traps. The father who neglected his daughter and still mourns his dead son, the depressed mother and so on. See, these people you can see redemption and salvation in Jigsaw's traps.

Acting: Yay! Good acting! To me, the characters actually seemed to change over time not just because of random thoughts but natural occurrences and human behavior. In addition, the screams and pleads seemed real. When The Rack (Fucking awesome trap) started to torture the man, it seemed like his bones were doing that. I loved it!

Traps: Oh man, just amazing. The Rack, just makes you cringe seeing his bones split. And the freezing chamber just makes you shiver. The Pig Trap makes you aware of your breathing (sorry) and the Angel Trap makes you think of your skin roasting off. You get the point.

Bad: Hiding stuff: I understand why they did it, I sympathize why they did it (Money) but it still bugs me. I wanted to know what Amanda had read when she found the letter (even though we found out later, still annoyed) and I desired to know what game Jeff still had to play to find his daughter!

Overall: I adored almost everything in this movie and even though most of the stuff hidden in this movie was revealed later, it still bugs me!

My Grade is: A

-Yep. Still no quotes this week. Sorry. Just too many reviews.-

-Fogarty

The End of the Series: Saw 3

Saw 3 directed again by Darren Lynn Bousman, was the last Saw film to be written by Leigh Whannel (Adam from Saw 1) and James Wan. The whole movie gives closure to the series. Leaving an opening for a sequel if they wanted to come back  (or producers forced another one...).
Weird...that's kinda how Saw 3D is suppose to be....FUCK I'M REALLY SCARRED IT MIGHT BE CRAP AND THEY'LL MAKE A SAW 8....sorry had a freak out...now back to Saw 3 review
Saw 3 is about a dying John (the original Jigsaw killer played by Tobin Bell), and his maybe final game? The movie also stars Shawnee Smith as Amanda, Bahar Soomekh as Lynn, and a great performance by Angus Macfadyen as Jeff. Sadly even with 4 powerful actors/actresses, the acting from the others involved ranges from mediocre to shit, I guess some things never change.

 Luckily almost everything else improves on Saw 2. The characters in the traps have (minimal in some cases) a back story. And the traps themselves are disgustingly beautiful. This also includes my favorite trap of the series, The Rack!

 Also the twists are pretty good....not as good as Saw but equal to that of Saw 2.

 

  So where does this one fit in the series? As the first ending of the series, it's a great horror movie. It's in my top 3 favorites and luckily features a lot of Tobin Bell...which always makes these movie better!
-Wilson

My Grade- B

RT: Critics- 25% RT Users- 79%

IDMB- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0489270/ 

Oh yes. There will be a sequal!

  How do you make a sequel to a movie that ended in an open ended way?
Simple. Take a new director/screenwriters script and make him change the characters to what you want them to be. Sounds horrible huh? Strangely enough it worked out perfectly


Tobin Bell...you'll hear a lot about him later



   Saw 2 is written and directed by Darren Lynn Bousman (a personal favorite), and stars Tobin Bell as the Jigsaw killer, Donnie Wahlberg as Detective Eric Matthews, and Shawnee Smith as Amanda. This cast fixed the main problem of the original-it's weak acting. Sadly the cast of nobodies that are put in Jigsaw's new trap make sure the acting stays an average of CRAP. Sadly the story does not really help these nobodies...I think I can remember the names of three out of the 7 that is involved in the house trap. Luckily they're pretty easy to tell apart. Black guy, Pissed off guy, Bald guy, blond chick who does nothing, Slut, the young kid....The characters are not as explored as much as Adam or Dr. Gordon were in the original, but lucky this main trap is balanced out by Tobin Bell and Donnie Wahlberg.....

  They're performances are great! And they're characters are strong and well developed! Luckily their dialogue makes up the other half of this movie so it balances out the bad characterization of the House trap members

  So with a whole house to go to the traps are pretty tame....in comparison to the newer ones in the series. Call me a retro fan but I like this. Why can't they all be tame! I don't want to see some Death Go-Kart (Saw 3D.....fuck I'm nervous....) I want to see a pit filled with hypodermic needles!!! The traps, like most in the original trilogy, are relatively easy to make, which adds to the physiological value of this movie. I like that and I'm always happy when I see this in the newer movies (the water box in Saw 5).

 So how does this stack up to the original? Well it's kinda hard to compare it to the original. It started as a whole different movie, and bares little reference to the original. So strangely enough you could say Saw 2 started this monster Horror franchise
-Wilson

My Grade- B-

RT: Critics- 35% Users- 66%

IDMB- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0432348/

Saw 2

Saw 2 Review:

The sequel to the original Saw explained the story behind the Saw series and gave it a new light but some of the traps failed to live up to my expectations.

Good: Plot: Oh man oh man oh man, this is why I love Saw. In this film it explains why Jigsaw commits these acts of torture and violence. His logic and reasoning is coming from a good place which is ironic.

Scary Traps: Saw 2 is the only Saw that has a trap that actually makes me leave the room. Which I love. That would be the hypodermic needle trap. Needles, needles everywhere. And imagine being thrust into a pit full of these needles. Yeah, you're shivering now. Now imagine digging through them looking for something. If you have not cringed once throughout this, you're a greater man than I.

Bad: Traps: Personally, I didn't like the house trap. I'm was very interested with the Nerve Gas part but slowly lost interest. I mean, there comes a certain point where seeing people cough up blood doesn't make you cringe or feel sick anymore.

Twist: Not nearly as good as the first one. The first just made you gape at the screen thinking 'WHAT' but this kinda gave the impression of 'Wow, all he had to do was...'. But a fair twist. I'm putting this in the 'bad' section because it didn't live up to expectations.

Why the people were in the traps: <- self explanatory title. One was there because he was a snitch for the cops (that's a GOOD thing?) and another was because his daddy was a corrupt cop.

Characters: Remember back in high school where everyone was a stereotype? Slut, black dude, 'roid rager? Yeah, that was pretty much the cast in Saw 2. Although it was pretty funny to watch. This could be a pro or a con depending on how much you liked high school.

Overall: A good movie. Not as good as the first though.

My Grade: B+

-Still no quotes. Sorry. I might add stories into the mix just for fun next week.-

-Fogarty

Saw: The Beginning!

    Saw is...well it's hard to say! Many people call it a guilty pleasure, something they don't want to tell their friends about. That's not the case for me (Twilight's mine anyway.....ok shut up and keep reading). I'm one that proudly displays his love for Saw! And lucky I have a great movie to back me up....

 Saw is about 2 men locked in a bathroom. One of the men, Dr. Gordon (played by the handsome Cary Elwes) has to kill the other man locked in the Bathroom with him (the other man is played horribly by Leigh Whannell). The simple premise is very suspenseful and creates great tension throughout the movie.

   Sadly the movie top notch story is flawed by the half-ass acting throughout. Legih Whannell, who plays Adam in the movie, has some memorable lines, but they're overshadowed by his poor performance.

also the movie has a view...well plot holes. Not big ones, just kinda stupid ones. Stupid Plot holes take you out of the movie experience. And if your out of the movie experience you lose all suspense.

 Was this movie worth the franchise it spawned? I'd say yes, but then again I'm a hardcore fan of the series and just a tad bit impartial. But throughout this week Fogarty and I will be exploring every movie in this iconic franchise. Ending with Saw 3D next Saturday. Hopefully we'll be able to articulate why this franchise is more then just blood and gore. and why it's a classic franchise that should stand on equal footing next to Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street.
-Wilson

My Grade- A-

Rotten Tomatoes- Critics-48% RT users- 86%

Idmb- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387564/

Saw 1

So this week; in anticipation for Saw 3d, are going to be reviewing each Saw movie every day.

Saw Review:

Before I start out the review, I have to say I love ALL Saw movies, some more than others. So expect all these 'grades' to be high.

Good: Plot: First off, I like the series because it doesn't focus on the gore and torture but instead the symbolism and reason behind it. It isn't 'torture porn' (Hostel, BLEH) or just a slasher movie.

Twists: The twists in this movie are amazing. I don't want to reveal anything but the first time I watched this movie I was just speechless by the end. Yet another reason I love the series, the twists.

Blood and Gore: Ok, I admit. It's pretty cool to watch this one because of the gore. Watching ****** root through the man's intestines, seeing ******** ****** saw his **** *** was just freaking cool to see (I don't care if it's fake, in my mind it is real!)

Bad: Plot holes: Like my partner (not that kind) said, there are some small ones and they kinda add up.



Cool Acting Bro



Acting: Now I've seen some BAD ACTING (Kristen Stewart lol) and the guy who plays Adam is in the top twenty.

Overall: I loved this movie and gave me a love for the horror genre.

My Grade: A

-Since we will be reviewing a lot of movies this week, I'm gonna skip the quotes this week-

-Fogarty

Unlike what the commercials say this is not a football movie where a poor teen becomes a football player and finds a family along the way. Its a movie about love where a teen becomes a member of a family and finds out he is good at football along the way.
What makes this movie great is that it's an uplifting story that is just great this time around the Holidays. Although i know what you think..."Aren't all sports movie stories uplifiting! How is this any different." and that, my person on the internet, is what makes this movie a cut above almost all of the sport movies realeased this decade! It doesn't fit into this ridgid structure that most sport movies have set up. (The structure that requires all teams to lost their first 3 1/2 games and then go on an amazing winning streak.)
Although the best part of this movie would be the acting. Sandra Bullock preformance is Oscar worthy and should win some awards(CALLED IT BITCHES). Quinton Aaron and Tim McGraw also preform strongly and the you actor who plays the youngest kid in the family almost steals the movie from Bullock.
Words can not describe how much i truely enjoyed this movie. Make sure not to be distracted by Avatar and Sherlock Holmes and end up missing this amazing movie. (hmmm...looks like you guys went to all these movies! Damn they made a shit load of money)

My Grade- A

Rotten Tomatoes: Crtics- 66% RT users-90%

IDMB- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0878804/

Predictable Ending, yet interesting story

12 Angry Men (1957 film) :

One thing I adore about movies made before the 90's is that they focused more so on plot than special effects because plot invigorated people!

Good: Tone: Before we learn of the jurors, we are told of the consequences that if the jury finds the man guilty, then the boy will die which gives a sense of insecurity. In addition, the title suggests the men will be angry, and they are.

Characters: Despite the fact that they are all white, the people are mighty diverse which gives great contrast and sets the mood for arguments. From a angry redneck to a man who I swore never hit puberty (On the plus side, I always knew who he was).

Camera Work: What I am really sick of is the camera jumping around and I have no bloody idea what is going on. However, this movie doesn't do that. At all.

Bad: Outcome: You already know the outcome ten minutes into the movie which kinda disappoints you but at the same time you feel anxiety on why the people are voting guilty or not guilty.

Overall: I loved this movie and I would highly recommend it to anyone.

My Grade is: A

-Fogarty

"Dude, you're as strait as x^2"

-Asian friend

It's Bruno!

"Dear God" was all I could say during this movie.
"That was funny" was all I could say after seeing this.
This movie is scarring to say the least. Many of the scenes I can't get out of my head. This makes Borat look like a nice kids movie.
While we're on the subject of Borat...this film definetly lacks the magic of the first film. It's hard to figure out why but it didn't feel as funny and raw as the first one. Maybe it was because there was more scripted scenes in this film then in Borat.
When a Sacha Baron Cohen movie comes out I always love seeing peoples reactions to the movie. I don't know how many movies out there has this many one word reviews. Most negative...makes you wonder if they hated the film or the message in it....
My Grade- B
Rotten Tomatoes: Crtics- 67% RT users-48%
Idmb- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0889583/ 

Can't think of a title

Ratatouille Review:

I'll get strait to the point. No matter what they put in as fluff, I am incredibly bored by any cooking show whether made by Pixar or Cooking Network (whatever it's name it)

Pro: Ok, I got to admit. The computer generated graphics were nice.

Bad: French: Wow, the french. Where do I start... Oh yeah, one of the greatest stereotypes is not here... They never surrendered to anyone! (I know what you were thinking of... And that too).

The Actions: Cooking... Cooking... Smelling... Cooking... Hitting a rat... Cooking...

The Antagonists: A short frenchman and a pompous critic won over by food. Couldn't they have made it a bit less expected?

Story: Weak. Lifeless. Boring.

Overall: Incredibly boring that dragged on a bit too long.

Grade: D

-Fogarty

"I'm naming my first car the Pimpmobile. 'Always keeps head and hands below waist level.'"

-Anonymous Friend

You won't believe how this post ends

Catfish (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFKe75Q6eVw) has taken the internet by storm thanks to its creative trailers that warn you “Don’t let anyone tell you what it is”. The trailer leads you to believe with this DIRECT QUOTE- “You’ve just found the tip of the Iceberg” that this may be a cleverly made SCARY Cloverfeild type movie….What if I told you this movie wasn’t horror but a romantic drama. Watch the trailer again. Figured out the “Twist”? Yea it’s pretty easy. When a movie promises that you won’t see its twist coming, it’s pretty easy to figure out!

     Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at Saw a series known for its’ jaw-dropping twist. The worst one in that series (called “predictable” by many critics) is Saw 5 and featured the Tag line “You won't believe how it ends.” It doesn’t stop there!

     Shutter Island promised an amazing plot that would twist and turn. Not only did I guess the main twist from just viewing the trailer, a half an hour into the film I figured out all but one part of the multi layered twist…..

     So what have we learned today? If you make a movie and have a badass twist at the end, maybe you shouldn’t be taunting me with your “You won’t guess it bullshit” cause trust me I will. We also learned that if your not a horror movie you shouldn’t pretend to be cause once I find out I will tear a hole into your  movie
-Wilson

Wow, it's another bomb! What a surprise!

The Hurt Locker:

To start this post off, I will say that I WAS interested in the procedure of the people who disposed of IEDs, but no longer.

Good: Explosions: YOUR TESTOSTERONE WILL RISE WHEN WATCHING THIS MOVIE!!! EXPLOSIONS! FIRE! GUNS! YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

Bad: Acting: Oh god, so terrible. I don't care whether you're in war, no one does this.

Plot: Oh wow, another bomb. And another. Oh, and dead people. That's pretty much the plot. When watching it, I just couldn't help but wonder "Is this it?"

The 'emotional' scenes: No emotion.

Overall: I honestly don't understand why this movie was nominated for ANYTHING!

My Grade is: D+

-Fogarty

"You lost the game"

-A guy about to get his ass kicked.

The Unspirted Spirit: The Spirit Review

   January 2009, a young man decides to spend his Friday night watching a new superhero movie that recently came out. 2 hours later he walked out of the Theatre confused and feeling like he was just robbed of his money

"What did I just see?" said the young man

What he saw was shit, not just normal shit (See Katherine Heigl movies) but shitty shit (See my Epic Movie review).

     When I originally wrote my Rotten Tomatoes review for this movie I challenged myself to not name a single bad thing about this movie....I couldn't, looking back on the movie I still can't.

This movie had a plot that jumped around and made less sense then a 5 year old A.D.D child who just drank a red bull. I was told by a friend that's how the comic was....well my dear friend that comic sounds horrible! EXPLANATION could have saved this movie. Explain why the Spirit can get shot and then stand right back up. Stop casually mentioning characters from his back story and actually show us what happened (They eventually did...2/3 of the way through the movie)

    Gabriel Macht (The Spirit) could not deliver a dramatic line that didn't make me laugh at how stupid he and the writing was and he couldn't give a comedic line that made me laugh. The acting all throughout was bad but Gabriel's is a special kind of bad. Sadly he still acts. Of course his movie always tank and go straight to DVD so it's only a matter of time before he's serving me my Mcdouble and fries.
   Oh wait I did think of something I liked! Samuel L. Jackson played so over the top I'm pretty sure he was touching the sun. Now some people may think this was to much, and I can see why you think that. But people, it's Samuel Jackson! The best acting he gives is over the top! It was a bright spot in a very grey and bland movie (ALL PUN INTENDED)

So if you want to see this movie just watch Iron Man instead and if you want to see Samuel L. Jackson in this movie....go see any of his other movies! They're all the same!

My Grade- F

Rotten Tomatoes: Critics-15% RT Users- 30%
IDMB- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0831887/



Do you see any difference between these 2 pictures?



I'm eating shit?

Food, Inc. Review:

Another interesting documentary that points out the flaws of our current agricultural system.

Good: Blame: Now this may sound like a weird thing to be 'good' but in a way it is. By putting a face upon the ones who are destroying our environment and hurting blue collar workers, they can appropriately say WHY they are to blame. If they were to say 'The Man' instead of "The Monsanto Corporation" then the only people that would turn up would be hippies, stoners and middle school wannabes.

Focus: The movie had two main focuses, the environmental affects and the animal abuses that go on. Many do not care as much about the animal rights violations and some have the polar opposite reaction. By including multiple consequences of Industrialized Farming they appealed to a greater percent of the population.

Blue Collar: In addition, the movie spent some time on the people affected by the companies, not just statistics. Instead of saying 'many workers were put out of business by Monsanto', they said 'Here is ****, he was put out of work by Monsanto'.

Bad: A bit extreme: By putting extreme examples of animal cruelty, the movie may have alienated some parts of the audience.

Overall: I found this movie to be very interesting and informative. I highly recommend seeing it regardless of political viewpoints.

My Grade is: A

-Fogarty

"How can you milk yourself?"

-Clueless Asian friend

Iron Man: Great Movie or Greatest Movie?

This is what a superhero movie should be. Now i know Batman is darker and moodier and if he could, would go to Hot Topic to get his latest story lines. But, this is just good old fun
Robert Downey is perfect for this role and is instantly likeable (but name one film where he isn't....don't actually haven't seen many of his films) and Jeff Bridges shows how great an actor he really is by playing Bad Blake (Crazy Heart) before he got into music. It was moody and interesting and shows how complicated he really is. Terrance Howard also showed what a career looks like right before it dies.
All in all this is just an amazingly fun film that is perfect on your DVD rack right next to Citizen Kane and Titanic (yea one guy reading this review who hasn't seen this film! It's that good)
-Wilson

My Grade- A-

Rotten Tomatoes: Crtics-94% RT Users-91%

Idmb- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371746/

NPH playing a strait guy... Again...

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog:

Now I would like to get a few things out of the way. One, I hate musicals. Two, I love NPH. Three, I love the Internet. Two out of three make this 'movie' a great Internet 'movie'.

Good: Jokes: Musicals usually have really cheesy jokes and the blog did not differ from that. It DID differ on the jokes said. They were typical NPH humor, watch a couple things with him in it and you'll know what it means.

Music: Thank god, the music was alright. Don't get me wrong, I hated the love songs but there were three songs that I positively adored! (Yes I am strait)

Ending: I thought it would be a 'Boy gets girl, bad guy goes away' ending like SO many musicals are, but this one was original, funny and a bit sad. Original, boy doesn't get girl (sorry for spoilers). Funny, seeing a guy cry on a therapist couch makes you laugh. Sad, boy... Damn this one is hard to explain. Just see it.

Bad: Love songs: OUCH! MY EARS! I had to mute this to get through it due to the fact that they just HURT SO MUCH!

Moist: What the fuck? This character came out of nowhere and left me cringing with what his purpose was (Getting people moist is not a purpose)

Overall: I liked it. Simple enough. If you want to see it, just go onto Youtube.

My grade is: A

-Fogarty

"It's a MAGICAL lightbulb!"

-Me to Airport Security (Not one of the best ideas)

Epic movie review of a not epic movie

Epic Movie, to put it nicely, is basically a car crash in film form. You want to look away! But parts of you want to stay just to tell that one annoying guy at work/school/street corner that their favorite movie was a steaming pile of crap.
I was told by someone releated to Fogarty (Fogarty would like to add that they are not related by blood) that this movie was hilarious! And I made the mistake of actually believing him! Don't worry my fantastic readers, I ignore this person now and pretend like he was never born...
So now onto what's good in the movie: Nothing
So now onto what's bad in the movie: Everything
Hmm this was an easy review so to make up for it I'm going to post a picture of a cat

-Wilson

It's Catday!!

My Grade: F-

Rotten Tomatoes: Crtics-2% RT Users- 38% (what's wrong with people)

Idmb- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0799949/

Harry Potter and the Deathly 3D

So every week on Saturday, Wilson and I will write an opinion piece about something that is happening in movie news. This week I will focus on how the first part of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will NOT be shot in 3D for they have run out of time.

First, I am getting fucking sick of 3D movies. Ever since Avatar, they've been popping up like genital warts. And there's no cure for them (unlike the warts) since people think "Oooohhhhh... Pretty" (Also unlike Genital warts)

Second, I actually did want to see this movie in 3D, because of the one nude scene... I mean damn, nothing would have been more amazing. Apart from that, I'm pretty apathetic to it being in 2D. After all, since it has a plot it does not need Avatar graphics (Oh snap).

That's all for now, I'm leaving this one fairly short because you can just read about it here:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-20019131-71.html

-Fogarty

"Hey dad, since you're not a woman, I can ask how much you weigh"

"Yeah, but since I'm not a woman I honestly don't know"

Clash of the Titans? More like Crap of the Titans! Am I right Fellas?

"Release the Crap!" -Zeus
  A sad attempt at a remake of a classic campy film. Like all crappy summer action movies almost every action scene in this movie has a been there done that feel to it. The only scene that actually was entertaining was the Medusa fight. The movie's biggest flaw comes when the Kraken is released. I don't want to spoil anything but sadly the Kraken took longer getting out of the water then it did battling Perseus (Sam Worthington).
   The film is surprisingly well acted! Liam Neeson is the best thing in this movie and Ralph Fiennes plays a great Hades. But Sam Worthington has to come into this movie with a perfect military buzz cut (I guess Gods have great barbers) and mess everything up. His acting feels like I'm watching the local high school put on a performance of Clash of the Titans. Then again I have never found Sam Worthington a good actor and am not surprised by this crappy performance.
   The CGI in this film is awful considering the budget of the film was $125 million. The scorpions were ok in there "smaller" size but when the Giant scorpions come it is pretty easy to tell that it was the same scorpion blown up 400%. This looks god awful! The only good effect in this film was the Kracken
   Although it's to late to complain about the 3D I want to take this moment to apologize to my local movie theatre....After the film was over I took the glasses. I felt like this was the only way to be paid back. You guys should not have charged me the 3d price for the obviously 2d movie.



What the movie looks like with 3d Glasses.....DARK AS FUCK



This movie is definetly a skip. If you've seen the original and any action movie made since 2000 you have seen this movie.

-Wilson

My Grade-F+

Rotten Tomatoes: Critcs-28% RT users-48%

Idmb- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800320/

If Moore can get into Cuba, so can you!

Sicko Review:

Now despite this movie having an obvious liberal bias, I believe that it brought up some interesting points about the (somewhat) current healthcare situation in America.

Good:

-Focus: Personally I liked how this documentary didn't focus on the people without insurance but did mostly so on those who did. I found this to be good because is Moore had gone the other way it would have paved the road for an argument that stated 'But what about those with insurance and HMOs!”. In addition, I was surprised that he interviewed the 9/11 rescue workers and the circumstances that had befallen them. I thought it was a good point to put those in there.

-Countries: Though slightly blown out of proportion, I found it very interesting to hear that both France and Canada (Canada is kinda a duh one) both had Universal Healthcare and I believe that contrasting these two countries was a very smart and bold move. Smart because we can now say to the government “They have healthcare, why don't we?” and bold because they both have very different societies and economic structures.

Bad:

-Stunts: Now I realize that this is what makes Moore 'Moore', but I find these a bit stupid. I do see why he puts them in, but I just can't help but think sailing to Cuba is a stupid move. First, you're going to an embargoed country, that's a bit serious. Second, you're going to GITMO! I understand it's a stunt but you can't expect the place to let you in because you have some people who want healthcare aboard. Third, identifying yourself with a microphone? Really mate? Do you think that anyone would actually HEAR YOU and recognize you were not a threat?

-Donation: I see nothing wrong with donations, but I found the donation in the movie not sincere. I am sure that he could have given it to him out of his heart but at the same time putting the stunt in your movie just takes away from it.

Conclusion: Overall the movie brought up some interesting points and gave some insight into the current situation of the American Healthcare System.

My Grade is: B+

“What do they think is going to happen? We're going to break in and redecorate?”

-Gay friend on Proposition 8 (California)

-Fogarty

Robin Hood: Part 68

   Robin Hood is a movie darling, his story has been told by so many different writers           and directors. One would think Ridley Scott (Gladiator, FUCKING GLADIATOR)    could make a great Robin Hood movie....well that one would be wrong.

   Robin Hood the Prequel follows the origin of Robin Hood. After 67 films Ridley somehow made his version unique and original! (Ok I counted the Foreign made Robin Hoods in this number...but unless someone can translate Drei für Robin Hood for me I'm calling Ridley original.) So I think Mr. Ridley noticed he had an original idea and decided to rewrite History. Fine I'm ok with the "historical inaccuracies" as long as they make the story, as a whole, better. And that's where we hit our problem....this story is kind of crappy. At one time it may have been good, but at 140 minutes, the plot was overstuffed to say the least. I know there's a lot of history (some made up for the movie might I add...) with all the battles Robin was in but you have to treat this movie like an origin story to a super hero. There’s a lot of back story that goes into those too but rarely does a Marvel movie make the mistake of including everything and the kitchen sink...

   A film this long is supposed to take the viewer away and make them feel as though it was only 90 minutes (see Inception).  This film limps along thanks to one man, the Editor Pietro Scalia. He should not be allowed to edit another movie again. It seemed all he did was take out blooper scenes and put in random "comedic" elements throughout. Going from a drunk guy looking around with puke on his shirt to the panic of the tax collectors or during a party transition shot zooming in on a guy dropping a drink after being knocked into then going to Robin Hood and Marian talking is horrible editing. (ok this was from my Rotten Tomatoes review before I noticed this man edited Kick Ass. He still did a horrible job here.)

 Russel Crowe was good as Robin Hood even though he was using a different accent (seriously people...this is what you find wrong with this movie)and Oscar Isaac as King John made the scenes he was in enjoyable to watch.

 But this leads me to Cate Blanchett...the culprit for the slow pace of this movie. She gave a substandard performance as Captain Krik pretending to be Maid Marian. She...would...talk...slow and with...weird......pauses and little to...no emo...tion.

Just skip this movie. Unless you really like Russel Crowe then rent it because it’s not worth $16 a ticket to see this Crapic. (hmmm "As of August 5, 2010, the film has grossed $105,257,055 in the United States and Canada (33.9%) and grossed $205,366,063 in other countries (66.1%), totaling $310,623,118 worldwide"-Wikipedia I guess no one listened to me on Rotten Tomatoes!)

-Wilson

Cary Elwes is dissapoint by this movie

My Grade: D+
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics-42% RT Users-60%
IDMB-http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0955308/




Claim token: VRS4PHJR664G
don't worry about that just look at Cary Elwes

A Priest named Cotton

The Last Exorcism Review:

Now some mockumentaries are good, and some are painful to watch. My thoughts on The Last Exorcism are a combination of the two.

Good:

-Characters: What I liked about the characters in the movie is that they weren't just strangers to you on the screen but you felt that you knew them. For example, the priest. You learned of his life story and his reasons for participating in the documentary from him, not through indirect means. I love it when movies do this because it feels much more authentic than an awkward conversation between two characters (Twilight, Star Wars-Clone Wars).

-Suspense: Most horror movies that have been coming out recently rely on a giant knife for horror value rather than making you think about what is going on outside the scenes or what is going to happen. This movie takes a good position on making you th

ink “Oh shit oh shit is she gonna kill him?” In addition, the movie doesn't focus on the knife factor; take for instance a scene where SOMEONE is attacked. The movie doesn't show the actual scene but rather the aftermath which is a lot scarier in most cases. Only problem is there are a lot of 'SHE'S BEHIND DA DOOR' scenes.

-Twists: After seeing Saw (1-6) I have loved twists. This movie embraced a couple. Some were obvious like “Well no shit she has a demon in here” to “Wait, he's gay?” (Actual twists). The only problem I found with the twists was at the very end. But more on that later.

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-Out of place humor: They excelled at this. Nothing is funnier than hearing a redneck girl ask the priest if he wants a 'blowing job'.

Bad:

-The Ending: Oh my god, this was just pure bullshit. Even after discussing it with my friends (and a hobo that got into the theatre) I still have no idea what went on. SPOILERS From what I can understand, it seemed like the entire town was a goddamn cult (Oh wait, it's the south) and when you throw a demon baby in a fire a priest's first instinct is to run towards the demon fire. SPOILERS

Conclusion: This is not a 'must see hit' or a shitty 'shove under the rug' horror film but more of a 'see with friends' film. Although not the best horror film (mostly due to it's ending, and the fact that a gay guy in the South is pretty damn unlikely), it most likely will make you shiver and you will have some fun with it.

My Grade is: B-
Rotten Tomatoes: Critics-72% RT Users-34%

"What the fuck dad? This isn't an after school special, I'm not going to find a rich sugar-daddy to pay for everything.

-My brother on paying for college

-Fogarty

In Bruges: A twisted fairytale

Ray (Colin Farrell):Maybe that's what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges.

Bruges, the fairytale like town where most of this movie takes place, is a picturesque town located in Belgium. A perfect tourist spot for some, it is a personal hell for hit men Ray (Colin Farrell) who is hiding out with his partner, Ken (Brendan Gleeson), after a hit goes wrong. In the town they come to terms with issues of guilt, morality, and redemption.

The movie part black comedy, part serious drama, is a perfect example of creative filmmaking. The characters feel realistic and different; it's easy to tell them apart from one another (especially Jordan Prentice who plays the "little person Jimmy"). The film's scenery is beautiful, which makes up for Ray's constant barrage of insults at the town. The film is a must see! Seriously just go out and get it right now...words can't describe it.....at least my words if you've seen the movie please comment below on whether I'm right or completely wrong!

My Grade- A

Rotten Tomatoes: Critics-81% RT Community-84%

In Bruges on IDMB-http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780536/

-Wilson

Greetings from me

Hey all,

I'm the friend Wilson was talking about in the post below. Like him, I created a Rotten Tomatoes account and in turn ditched it. I'll try to upload recently released movie reviews as much as I can but since I'm not made of money it won't be as often as I'd like it to be.

My focus (in conjunction with Wilson's) in the blog/podcast (when we get time in Summer) is going to be horror, documentaries and poking fun at shitty movies (because let's face it, we all love to do that). I hope that anyone reading these reviews will enjoy them and give us feedback.

-Fogarty

(After each review, I'll leave a quote here that someone I know said)

(Oh, and I put the username or whatever it is called as White Gardener is because I'm white and a gardener)

Hello to the Tens of People who are Going to Read This

First I would like to thank you for making it this far. I decided to make a blog because I have a lot to say on movies. I first decided to use Rotten Tomatoes to spread my opinon but, after 2419 views I finally noticed how flawed the website was. For the next couple months I'll be uploading my Rotten Tomatoes reviews here and hopefully adding in a couple of new ones too (only 27 more days till Saw 3D!!)

   Also my friend should hopefully be joining me and eventually we will have a podcast up (Summer next year...if all goes according to plan) So I hope you'll all enjoy reading these reviews and until next time! See ya at the movies, aw shit that sounded so stupid...I'll have to work on that...

-Wilson